Thursday, February 20, 2014

if you have to fart in the gym

I have to be honest; the title of this post is deceiving, I did not bring you here to talk about farting in the gym. Although if you came here with hopes of tips and strategies for farting in the gym,I'll give you two-

  • walk really fast, like as fast as you can with out looking nuts and let it out... it will mask the sound of any fart and you walking really fast will get you away from any stench you leave behind. 

  • Make your way into the lifting area of the gym... where all the big, sweaty men are-- 
1. you are around a bunch of big sweaty men; no one will assume you, out of all of them, were the one who farted, unless you are a big sweaty hairy man.. in that case own it.
2. They usually are so in the zone, with headphones in and everything, no one will notice- so confidently break the wind sister. 
With that being said, I actually brought you here (YOU- being my closest friends and the weird internet traffic I get from Malaysia) to share my intentions.

Here's the thing- this is about to be a long post and its not going to have my usual quirks or end line of enlightenment. I am pretty proud of this little blog I have started, not because it has blown up or because I get a lot of readers but because I am sharing and learning about myself through this blogging experience. This blog, to me, is a confidence thing. It was my first personal writing project and since I have started this blog I have expanded my writing projects. I have been more confident about putting my writing material out there and less scared of failure.

Yet, I still struggle with posting because I spend the week trying to come up with clever post as opposed to what I just want to write about. I feel like my post have been an array of quirky how to's & just live your life enlightenment post. Don't get me wrong I love me some how to's and list post, I do! I am a fan of other blogs that do just that. I do get scared that people aren't going to read my post because  "Oh look another 20-something blog about being weird and stressed" I also see myself straying away from topics that truly concern me because I do not want to be too dark-- 

Here's what I want; I want to write about getting through a run or a workout with out seeming like a  crazy gym freak although working out has been a big part of my life for quite sometime now!  So who the f cares IF I LOVE IT SO MUCH. 

I also want to be a huge freak and post about yoga and how it really is an emotional release and how you feel a zen happiness when you let yourself fall into it. Yoga is good for your soul- as pretentious as that sounds. 

I want to write about the fact that I am officially going backpacking through Europe in September and that is my single driving force to my post-grad life. That scares the poop out of me because I have spent that last four years dedicated to Theatre and Performance and now my whole being is about getting there. Saving money to get there, working a lot to get there, planning my life around getting there. Is this okay? Why am I not full force working towards performing- why has travel suddenly taking reigns to my future. 

I want to write about texting in regards to dating and how in the world can a small nano message can mean 508 different things to people. "That person put dots.... what? are they mad?"Universal texting rule dots mean something......   "He said Hey :) he's totally into me right?? or wait, is he coming on a little too strong? THAT SMILEY HAS TO MEAN HE ONLY WANTS SEX! 

I want to write about fears, experiences, maybe my outfit of the day if I'm feeling super artsy or like I could potentially be apart of the Pretty Little Liars Cast; this post is to tell you that I am about to have freedom with my writing and maybe just maybe I will relate to some of you- in any way- not just a funny way. Even if its just to you readers in Malaysia (Please don't STEAL my identity)

Sierra Carter 

Monday, February 3, 2014

letter to you.

I am a huge fan of letters; When I first started reading blogs online I found a woman that wrote a letter to her 20-something self and I have read that letter over and over again.  

So just for fun, I wrote a letter to my younger self;

Hello little one! 

Stop worrying about if you're fat. Seriously, we are all fat at one time or another. If you just calm down- you can save yourself from a lot of struggle with your body image. So what if you are a little more round than you'd like to be; there are far more things you will bring to the table than a perfect figure. 

Stop worrying about the relationship you have with your family; as you grow they will admire your bravery and independence. Your father adores you and your sister thinks you are great. 

Do not be afraid to show that you are scared. Sure, you have eagerly waited and have counted down the days till you graduate high school but it is okay to hug your mom a little tighter- it is okay to let her know that she is needed. Sometimes your independence gets the best of you-- it is okay to need people. It is especially okay to need your Mom. 

Please, please, please get rid of that hat you think is so adorable. The one that has a bow on it, that you bought to show your quirky side- no you look like a middle aged gardener.  
Never get rid of your gorilla suit- it was such a happy purchase and it will continue to make you happy as you grow. 

Do not freak out when you realize your first college choice wasn't the best one. Embrace where you are and the friendships you make. Really love every time you see Demi, surprisingly she will become one of your best friends - she will make your soul happy & you will return the favor.  Change is okay. A big change is okay. You will be okay on your own. 

Your next college will you bring you a lot. 
It will satisfy that seven year old girl who only wanted to be an actress, it will awaken a love for writing and it will introduce you to a weirdo who you will be certain was born to be your friend. Spoiler: you guys aren't lovers but you are roommates and that will also satisfy that ten year old girl who ONLY WANTED AN APARTMENT FULL OF FAB GAY MEN. 

Always go for the impossible. Just do it. Take chances because chances for you turn into opportunities. Marissa will meet you in California. You say it now as a joke- but it will come true. 

 Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes you’ll put up a good fight and lose. Sometimes you’ll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go. 

You have a full life ahead of you. Don't be afraid to show people who you really are ( you will get more and more confident as the years go) 
Be weird. Embrace it.

With love, 

Sierra Carter