a list of things: I dont want to do until Fall 2017

Things I don’t want to do until Fall 2017:


- Be focused (just don’t like it)
- Do my laundry (it can wait a year)
- Achieve career goals (eh) 
- Plan for retirement (will one more year really matter?)
- Date at all (get away from me smelly men)
- Stop crying and laughing at the same time (emotional break downs are fun)
- Drink that cinnamon vodka someone left at our apt. (Probably wont drink it then)
- Go to the dentist (hot damn)
- Become predictable (still having fun)

a list of things: that are better in the winter

a romantic winter themed movie about a divorcee getting their life back.

watching a golden retriever jump around in snow.

oversized fuzzy accessories.

hot cocoa.

window displays.

sweaters.

sparkly clothing.

close conversations.

red noses from the cold (not to be confused with red face from the heat which isn't as adorable)

being very cool with things.

Yesterday.

-Woke up to my morning phone call from Andy, this is a regular thing and it feels like a necessity.

-Got to work and was greeted kindly by two kiddos whom I've accidentally grown very fond of;I have related to the Bad Moms trailer more than once ad I couldn't hold back my excitement when their Mother told me she found a to-go baggy for wipes. (who have I become) 

-Took kiddos to Pickles Playroom because temps were too hot to play outside. Tyle meets up and we memorize audition monologues while children play around us. 

-Got off work an hour earlier than expected and although I am disappointed to be losing the hours, I am excited to go home and make lunch. Homemade pita veggie pizza with a spinach, strawberry, almond salad.

- Tyle and I play Mario Kart and I win. (this is to be noted because I never win)

-We nap. wake up shower (separately) and get ready for the night. I recite my audition monologue as Tyle showers. No time for usual dance breaks.

-I get on the bus to print my resume for my audition. I put in my headphones and keep reciting my monologue (I think it looks like I'm on the phone) 

-I arrive at the theatre painfully early

- I do my assumed 1 min monologue in 40 second or less 

-I leave, jittery and still nervous. 

-Hop on the train to iO to catch friends in a show 

-Get a text from my boss telling me not to come in tomorrow (not in a fired way, just in a your hours are cut short again kind of way)

-Leave iO in a rush because I let my stress overwhelm me. 

-Take a bus to a train then a walk in the rain home ( very dramatic)

-Text Fajher for insight and advice (he tells me I'm panicking for no reason and I agree)

-Still upset binge eat all the kale (and a few cookies)

-Fall Asleep 

-wake up to roommates in my room giving me love. A whispers in my ear how much he misses me. T ask me what I had for dinner, to which I reply "Kale" and he is shocked "That's fucked up- I'm bringing you a nugget" ---- minutes later I realize no one has pants on. "We lost our pants somewhere" 

but they are very cool with it. 

and I am sure everything will be just fine. 

everyday I go to space.

As of now my days are pretty calm. Busy but in a way I can handle it. I have a routine that I have adapted to and for the moment life just makes an okay amount of sense. -Of course I would love to be doing more. Auditioning more. Being in more shows. Making more connections. Writing more. Doing everything more. For once though, I'm not wasting my stress on things that don't matter. Less stress about the romanized version of my 9-5 job. The one I envisioned, the one I thought would really matter, the one I pressured myself to get because I thought it would make me feel worth something. I spent the majority of my first year searching for something that I knew would leave me unfulfilled but it sounds good? Writing it out like that seems silly but I was blinded by self expectations and the fear of letting myself rely on my actual dreams to make me happy.

The job I have now kind of found me in a way. I won't write too much about it but I spend time with two wonderful kids and spend most of my day pretending the kitchen table is a space ship that takes us to school but we never make it to school because we end up frozen in the realms of space!!!!!!
Its fun. I am happy with it.

On the other end of things (the side hustle, the dream, the not day-job) they are just going. I am about to finish up two comedy curriculums to which I will then enroll in another program and dedicate another year to learning comedy. Things are going.

Much like my day job I feel like I get frozen in the realms of comedy space. I'm moving forward, I'm spinning around, I'm going backwards.
Its fun.
I am happy with it.

Cheers!
Sierra

a story

Curly Haired Mermaid, lounges on the beach with Beautiful, Strong Mermaid, who is fighting a life stealing octopus; 

Beautiful, Strong Mermaid to the Curly Haired one: "Will you message Jamaican Merman (who has been in her life for a bit, who adores her) and let him know, we are at the beach and I don't have my shell phone."

message sent. 

"What did he say?" 

no response.

(few minutes later) "What did he say?"

message received. 

The Curly Haired one reads, "Awesome, Hope you guys are chilling and having a blast, Tell her I love her mucho."

Beautiful, Strong Mermaid: *rolls her eyes*

Curly Haired Mermaid wonders if she will ever appreciate affection from a Merman. 

But who needs a Merman when Strong, Beautiful Mermaid can fight a life sucking octopus, make enough sand dollars and get a Masters in the sea, all at the same time. 

Curly Haired Mermaid, beams with delight. 

Strong, Beautiful Mermaid, is a perfect role model. 

One Year- Welcome Home!

A year ago today Benjy and I trusted a craigslist posting, walked into an empty apartment and decided to live with a stranger for a month. 

 I'd like to thank-

All the concerned old Oklahoma men

for worrying about my well being as hard as it was I didn't fall into a life of hard drugs and/or a life of loneliness because I chose the city over a practical family life. Thank you so much for warning me. 

Google Maps

I owe my survival to you. 

My Mother

her go to line is: "Just go be Sierra" I think we both are confused on what exactly that means. 

Theatre Degree

Thanks to my degree these are the types of jobs I've been so lucky to have; HR team member, Spin Instructor, Theatre Intern, After School Instructor, Legal Assistant, Front Desk to HGTV/DIY networks, Assistant to Hairstyle Magazine Editor, Person who just buzzes people in, Box Office Intern, Person who just reads emails to the old man boss, Person who puts paper in the copier, Person who assist boss in making newspaper collages of random articles.  

The lady at my bus stop

Thank you for constantly insulting me; from my insanely unmanageable curly hair to my flowered rain boots, everything about my demeanor screams giant whore. So thank you for the constant support of my lifestyle.  

My roommate

This summer we decided to go without an air conditioner. We spent most of our days- sweating, complaining, showering, not dressing and having heat strokes. If we can survive the delusion of heat and hating each other, I think we can survive it all. 

  

  

 

 

Thank you Chicago,

one year ago you were a dream and now you are home. 

Cheers! 

Sierra 

a day in the life.

this post is inspired by Alice. (my own personal comedy mermaid)

5:30am- 6:30- wake up. toss around. start thinking about things I don't want to.

6:45am- keep thinking.

7:00am- finally get out of bed

7:45am- take a quick uber to my new job

8:05am- arrive at my new job

8:05-1:45pm- do all the new job things, think a lot about if this is the right place for me

2:00pm- finally decide it is

2:45pm- text my friend to see if she wants to meet for lunch

3:25pm- chat with my friend over sandwiches and tacos

3:45pm- walk with her to the brown line; Fullerton to Sedgwick

3:55pm- walk down North Avenue and discover that we make each other better

4:00pm- part ways

4:15pm- buy macaroons

4:30pm- enjoy macaroons while listening to a comedy podcast

5:00pm- open google drive and start working on sketches before rehearsal; get a free coffee

7:30pm- go to an apartment to play make-em ups with my favorite lady tribe

10:00pm- head home in an uber pool, share it with two band members who smell bad.

12:00am- walk into my apartment, explain my whole life to Austin; forget to wash my face, pass out on one side of my bed

Jimmy Carrane- .... what advice do you have for someone starting out in improv today? 

Cecily Strong- I would say, go to Chicago

Always a background character & more on theatre.

If I remember correctly the very first time I was on stage was during a live nativity scene. I was four-years-old and I was playing a background star (an actual star). The next time I was on stage was in the third grade, the play was the Little Boy Who Cried Wolf and I was a townsperson. I had one line and in my most pathetic performance voice I would say: "Who will save us now?"

After my successful career as a background star and a townsperson, I could tell that this was the life for me.

I then went on to play roles such as a business women in my 8th grade play, a gentlemen suitor in my first high school musical, the role of Girl in my first college one-act, the Waiter in my first college show, and the Solider in my first college Shakespeare show.

I was the unknown character of your dreams. I'd like to say I was a stand out. I'd like to say directors groveled on the floor when they realized what they had done. How had they cast such a shining star as a background character? But no, I would play my character to it's full potential. Straight laced. The girl, the solider, the star. 

It seems like I would have given up at this point, right? Nope, I took a real hard look at my acting resume and said, "I guess I'll make a career out of this."

Seems reckless, seems like a silly thing to do, seems not so practical, seems like any logical person would take their college success and compare it to their real-life potential, right?

I don't know what possessed me to believe that acting was the end all be all for me but I'm sure glad it did. I haven't ever really thought of myself as a confident person; I'm more of a fake it, all the time, anytime until everyone believes you. So it wasn't confidence that brought me here. 

I think at first it was proving a point. Proving that I am good enough to be a leading lady and actually if I'm not your leading lady I will go ahead and create my own leading lady and be her. I think it's my belief that talent is not measured by certain people's approval.

I am just now realizing that nothing really gives me validation, but I keep on playing. It's really just because I enjoy it. I find a lot of happiness in playing make believe with good people.   

***Here are a few characters no one asked me to play (with makeup by Tyle Bivens) so why not go ahead and try to play them professionally.  

still running wild

But the running has been 

at times

in circles 

in one straight line 

with hurdles

with confusion 

in a dead sprint 

in a slow jog 

in a watching the world move while I sit

while I play Mario Kart

while I pet my dog

while I laugh with my roommate

while I scroll instagram

while I drink coffee

at different shops

while I cry because money

because illness has hit my family

 running wild and searching 

searching for a meaning 

searching for what is important 

family?

dreams?

careers?

travel?

friendships?

romantic relationships?

still running wild.

playing make-believe 

playing make-believe on a stage

running in a dead sprint 

running so much that I can't breathe 

running so little that I feel worthless 

running towards light 

running with light

trying to prove to myself that I am my own light.

still running. 

still running wild.