Friday, October 18, 2013

tips for a more GLAM life.

Tips for being a little more glamourous than you actually are:
 pictures included.  
1.) Do some Yoga
I don’t know if its the idea or the actual practice but something about a lady saying ” Oh I do yoga” or ” I have a yoga class at 6″ makes them instantly seem more glamorous. I immediately think that person has to be super intuitive and have clear understanding of the entire world around them. I do yoga on the occasion its mostly because I hate stretching but love running so yoga is my middle ground where I trick myself into believing i’m not stretching, I’m just being a glam yogi. 
Here I am just having all the essentials: cool head band, tight clothes, yoga mat, pose.
2.) Own some wine bottles 
When I enter someones home and they have a lot of empty wine bottles, I immediately think not only is this person glamourous with their choice of alcohol but they are classy. Make sure you keep it to wine bottles, empty wine boxes can be border line drunk college girl…. but certainly not– wine bottles. Better yet go ahead and post a picture of how frequently you have a glass of wine, throw an instagram filter on it and SHAZAM*** you are one glamourous mama!
just a night in with my best friend. 
3.) always have to get going
Make short little dates with people and always have to leave to go somewhere else. Maybe blame it on your new yoga class… say things like “Oh, I am so so sorry I have to get going, yoga at 6″ DOUBLE WAMMY! or “Oh gosh I have to run, coffee date with my gay friends” <– there is so much glamor in that sentence its unreal.
4.) add a few gays to your life
Lets be real… Karen off of Will & Grace is probably one of the most glamourous people from Television. Something that makes her even more fab. is her gay counterpart.
5.) I am traveling for Work
Perhaps one night you stumble drunkenly into a hotel… while you’re checking in simply utter the words “I am traveling for work”- AUTOMATICALLY YOU ARE MORE GLAMOUROUS. Even if the hotel is a run down weekly rates place and you’re just trying to put your drunk booty to sleep, saying you’re traveling for work will make you look and feel just a little more glam. Try it– 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
6.) Accessorize 
Look at me all plain Jane.
ADD LIPSTICK– Glam accessory number one.
ADD A SCARF- Nothing says Damn I am GLAM-ER-OUSSSSSSSSSSSSS like a scarf 
ADD SUNGLASSES- Even if you’re inside, its night time, you’re at a place that its completely inappropriate to wear them DO IT ANYWAY
ADD- COFFEE- Putting a cup of coffee in your hand adds about 80% Glam to any outfit. 
for added effect breathe in like Tyra says. 
There you have it ladies and gents… Welcome to your new GLAM LYFEEE.
lets all pretend I do have a glamourous life and did not take all these pictures in one night….. 

Friday, October 4, 2013

being me is a struggle sometimes

Lets start with the way I decided to roll out of bed this morning.
I live in a house with all wood floors and my sweet dog Benjy constantly gets way to excited and ends up slipping and sliding all around the floor, when he does it I think it is by far one of the cutest, funniest things I have ever seen.
Who wouldn’t want to see this cutie slip from excitement?
However at 7:30 A.M. when I am the one slipping instantly when my feet hit the ground it is not the cutest sight ever. I imagine I looked like a hippo trying to walk on its hind legs and I am sure my face was shockingly gorgeous as well.
So there you have it TOP of the morning- FACE PLANT.
Fortunately for me, I have plenty of falling stories, plenty of clumsy stories~~ like the other day I was walking on Campus and there was a class outside and I was staring at the professor because she was wearing super hip Nike attire and I ran right into what I am assuming was her metal file box on the sidewalk; so instead of playing it off and looking down in shame after my shin loudly hit the box, I looked the professor directly in the eye and said: shaky voice, weird laughter in all “I’m sorry, I was just staring at you.”
Its a constant struggle between just eating chocolate all day, everyday or eating real food and being healthy.
I am on my last roll of toilet paper so tonight I will be taking some from work– that should be on what I am guilty of. Taking toilet paper from work.
I also try to do what I pin on Pintrest. So I tried to do a face mask  that was supposed to turn out something like this….
but actually turned out something like this….