Sunday, April 14, 2013

hi. this is my first post about being awkward.

It seems to me that nowadays the term “I am awkward” is a glamorous saying. It seems like everyone has “that awkward moment” or ” oh my gosh… how awkward am I?” tagged all over their social media sites and it has been the cool thing to be for awhile now. Don’t get me wrong we are all a little weird and awkward so I am not belittling the awkwardness of one person or saying that I am more awkward than anyone, but when I say I am awkward I do not mean:
” Oh my gosh, I don’t have any make-up on how awkward”
” That guy just totally stared at me, how awkward”
” and like I was just holding my tampons and bread, how awkward”
I mean:
” I just loudly farted in front of my boyfriends brother, how awkward”
” I just walked into a conversation and laughed (sounding a lot like man/bear would sound if they just went HUH) as if I was involved in the conversation”
“I just went to that party and instead of trying to meet people, I just stand there and stare at people with a lip closed smile like I have a secret or I am plotting to stalk that person either way its weird– and the only problem is I NEVER KNOW WHEN I AM DOING IT– how awkward.”
A new friend will greet me l “Hey Sierra, I haven’t seen you in a long time” and I’ll quickly reply with a ” Oh I know, we should plan a date” but instead of that being a normal reply; I’ll sing that reply or revert to this automatic deep voice I use, I don’t know where it comes from it just happens.
so- for me, that awkward pause happens on the regular.
I do, however have some awesome friends that completely understand & embrace my social inadequacies. I also have an admired theatre that liked me enough to offer me a summer internship.
That is the reason I decided to start a blog; I want to be able to share my journey with myself if nobody reads this. Maybe a hopeless internet surfer will google the words “how to play it really cool at an internship” or “how to be sexy, fun, cute, mysterious all at the same time” and up pops this blog or another blog with successful tips on those topics. Whatever the case- I will have it. So, here’s to my first post. I want to go back and read these things and either be completely embarrassed of my 20 something self or go back and think I was blessed to be 20 something so carefree. Perhaps, someday I will look back on all the post and it will re-inspire me to travel or find myself– if I was to ever lose myself.