Friday, March 25, 2016

Always a background character & more on theatre.

If I remember correctly the very first time I was on stage was during a live nativity scene. I was four-years-old and I was playing a background star (an actual star). The next time I was on stage was in the third grade, the play was the Little Boy Who Cried Wolf and I was a townsperson. I had one line and in my most pathetic performance voice I would say: "Who will save us now?"

After my successful career as a background star and a townsperson, I could tell that this was the life for me.

I then went on to play roles such as a business women in my 8th grade play, a gentlemen suitor in my first high school musical, the role of Girl in my first college one-act, the Waiter in my first college show, and the Solider in my first college Shakespeare show.

I was the unknown character of your dreams. I'd like to say I was a stand out. I'd like to say directors groveled on the floor when they realized what they had done. How had they cast such a shining star as a background character? But no, I would play my character to it's full potential. Straight laced. The girl, the solider, the star. 

It seems like I would have given up at this point, right? Nope, I took a real hard look at my acting resume and said, "I guess I'll make a career out of this."

Seems reckless, seems like a silly thing to do, seems not so practical, seems like any logical person would take their college success and compare it to their real-life potential, right?

I don't know what possessed me to believe that acting was the end all be all for me but I'm sure glad it did. I haven't ever really thought of myself as a confident person; I'm more of a fake it, all the time, anytime until everyone believes you. So it wasn't confidence that brought me here. 

I think at first it was proving a point. Proving that I am good enough to be a leading lady and actually if I'm not your leading lady I will go ahead and create my own leading lady and be her. I think it's my belief that talent is not measured by certain people's approval.

I am just now realizing that nothing really gives me validation, but I keep on playing. It's really just because I enjoy it. I find a lot of happiness in playing make believe with good people.   

***Here are a few characters no one asked me to play (with makeup by Tyle Bivens) so why not go ahead and try to play them professionally.