One Year- Welcome Home!

A year ago today Benjy and I trusted a craigslist posting, walked into an empty apartment and decided to live with a stranger for a month. 

 I'd like to thank-

All the concerned old Oklahoma men

for worrying about my well being as hard as it was I didn't fall into a life of hard drugs and/or a life of loneliness because I chose the city over a practical family life. Thank you so much for warning me. 

Google Maps

I owe my survival to you. 

My Mother

her go to line is: "Just go be Sierra" I think we both are confused on what exactly that means. 

Theatre Degree

Thanks to my degree these are the types of jobs I've been so lucky to have; HR team member, Spin Instructor, Theatre Intern, After School Instructor, Legal Assistant, Front Desk to HGTV/DIY networks, Assistant to Hairstyle Magazine Editor, Person who just buzzes people in, Box Office Intern, Person who just reads emails to the old man boss, Person who puts paper in the copier, Person who assist boss in making newspaper collages of random articles.  

The lady at my bus stop

Thank you for constantly insulting me; from my insanely unmanageable curly hair to my flowered rain boots, everything about my demeanor screams giant whore. So thank you for the constant support of my lifestyle.  

My roommate

This summer we decided to go without an air conditioner. We spent most of our days- sweating, complaining, showering, not dressing and having heat strokes. If we can survive the delusion of heat and hating each other, I think we can survive it all. 

  

  

 

 

Thank you Chicago,

one year ago you were a dream and now you are home. 

Cheers! 

Sierra 

a day in the life.

this post is inspired by Alice. (my own personal comedy mermaid)

5:30am- 6:30- wake up. toss around. start thinking about things I don't want to.

6:45am- keep thinking.

7:00am- finally get out of bed

7:45am- take a quick uber to my new job

8:05am- arrive at my new job

8:05-1:45pm- do all the new job things, think a lot about if this is the right place for me

2:00pm- finally decide it is

2:45pm- text my friend to see if she wants to meet for lunch

3:25pm- chat with my friend over sandwiches and tacos

3:45pm- walk with her to the brown line; Fullerton to Sedgwick

3:55pm- walk down North Avenue and discover that we make each other better

4:00pm- part ways

4:15pm- buy macaroons

4:30pm- enjoy macaroons while listening to a comedy podcast

5:00pm- open google drive and start working on sketches before rehearsal; get a free coffee

7:30pm- go to an apartment to play make-em ups with my favorite lady tribe

10:00pm- head home in an uber pool, share it with two band members who smell bad.

12:00am- walk into my apartment, explain my whole life to Austin; forget to wash my face, pass out on one side of my bed

Jimmy Carrane- .... what advice do you have for someone starting out in improv today? 

Cecily Strong- I would say, go to Chicago

Always a background character & more on theatre.

If I remember correctly the very first time I was on stage was during a live nativity scene. I was four-years-old and I was playing a background star (an actual star). The next time I was on stage was in the third grade, the play was the Little Boy Who Cried Wolf and I was a townsperson. I had one line and in my most pathetic performance voice I would say: "Who will save us now?"

After my successful career as a background star and a townsperson, I could tell that this was the life for me.

I then went on to play roles such as a business women in my 8th grade play, a gentlemen suitor in my first high school musical, the role of Girl in my first college one-act, the Waiter in my first college show, and the Solider in my first college Shakespeare show.

I was the unknown character of your dreams. I'd like to say I was a stand out. I'd like to say directors groveled on the floor when they realized what they had done. How had they cast such a shining star as a background character? But no, I would play my character to it's full potential. Straight laced. The girl, the solider, the star. 

It seems like I would have given up at this point, right? Nope, I took a real hard look at my acting resume and said, "I guess I'll make a career out of this."

Seems reckless, seems like a silly thing to do, seems not so practical, seems like any logical person would take their college success and compare it to their real-life potential, right?

I don't know what possessed me to believe that acting was the end all be all for me but I'm sure glad it did. I haven't ever really thought of myself as a confident person; I'm more of a fake it, all the time, anytime until everyone believes you. So it wasn't confidence that brought me here. 

I think at first it was proving a point. Proving that I am good enough to be a leading lady and actually if I'm not your leading lady I will go ahead and create my own leading lady and be her. I think it's my belief that talent is not measured by certain people's approval.

I am just now realizing that nothing really gives me validation, but I keep on playing. It's really just because I enjoy it. I find a lot of happiness in playing make believe with good people.   

***Here are a few characters no one asked me to play (with makeup by Tyle Bivens) so why not go ahead and try to play them professionally.  

still running wild

But the running has been 

at times

in circles 

in one straight line 

with hurdles

with confusion 

in a dead sprint 

in a slow jog 

in a watching the world move while I sit

while I play Mario Kart

while I pet my dog

while I laugh with my roommate

while I scroll instagram

while I drink coffee

at different shops

while I cry because money

because illness has hit my family

 running wild and searching 

searching for a meaning 

searching for what is important 

family?

dreams?

careers?

travel?

friendships?

romantic relationships?

still running wild.

playing make-believe 

playing make-believe on a stage

running in a dead sprint 

running so much that I can't breathe 

running so little that I feel worthless 

running towards light 

running with light

trying to prove to myself that I am my own light.

still running. 

still running wild. 

embracing the natural.

So, excuse my absence... but I guess I am ready to update or rather just to write really.

Moving to a new city is the most exciting/exhausting thing. It opens up so many weird emotions. First of all, I know moving to Chicago was the perfect decision for me. I am beyond grateful that I was at a place in my life at 23 to move to the city of my dreams.

I feel like my life has changed dramatically every single month and that is partially because I am such a lunatic. I've had to really ask myself "what is important to me" on a daily basis and from the outside looking in my life seems pretty crazy but it is making more sense to me as time goes on.

So, heres the deal- I hate starting with this because I hate that our day-job defines us. I hate that the first thing people ask you is, "What do you do?" and that automatically defines how others view you. We are so much more than our professions. I know, jobs are important. We spend a lot of time working so it is interesting to ask people what they do. However, I think its important that we ask people, "What makes you happy?" first and foremost and then get the job questions later.

That is something I could rant about forever.

Anyway, I don't have a normal 9-5 job. I tried it for a few months, I gave it my best shot, I even bought a damn cardigan and cute patterned business pants that you see all over pininterest but something about routine and working in Humans Resources really kills every other aspirations in my life.

  Now, I don't even have the same job everyday of the week. Actually, I'm lying; I'm still trying to figure out what my job really is.

I'm interning at a theatre, I'm box-office tending at another theatre in exchange for classes, I'm teaching cycle classes and honestly any other group fitness classes I can weasel my way into; I'm working hard and dedicating my time to things that may or may not work out for me. I am a self-proclaimed risk taker.

Which is scary and over-whelming and insane and apparently not very attractive to a 9-5er who is looking for something a little more serious but not with you because you kind of have your head in the clouds and you're a bit too dreamy.

Well, I am.

Truly.

I make rash decisions, that are almost always emotionally driven. Then I run from my emotions, bury them deep inside my soul and hide from all feelings that make me human. Its a constant battle. I blame the Pisces in me.

So, life is weird but I am a very hungry person.

And if that makes me a dreamer... well I'm not the only one.

boom.

Cheers!

Sierra Carter

Month one in a new city & this is how I survived.

By:  Panicking. Settling. Finding new coffee shops. People watching. Window Shopping. Saying Hi first. Being Patient. Drinking Wine. Reading. Applying. Panicking. Settling. Writing/ more than I ever have-  for me/. Exploring. Running. Waking up Early. Learning. Taking Classes. More walks with my dog. Stretching. Discovering. Holding on tight. Lots of Phone Calls. Reality TV. Trusting. Having Donuts. Having Kristin. Having Friends Back Home. By eliminating or trying to eliminate self-hate. Reading the News. Walking. Emailing. Going. And Going. To a bar, to an audition, to a class, to talk to a stranger-Running & Running Wild. 

6 days in the big city.

6 things to note about my life as an official city girl- with no job but big dreams (mostly of donuts and not falling up the stairs every time I go to the train) 

1. Phone Calls have become a regular thing for me; having no set schedule makes me more of an annoying friend to all those back home; when all I do is walk my dog & check my email for hopefully job interview offers I become slightly obsessed with calling certain people; so thank you friends- I promise soon I will have more to say then... I basically did nothing today and Benjy is pooping regularly. 

2. I will always believe that everything happens for a reason. This is especially true when I meet people day to day to find more projects more connections more leads on anything I need in my life. With persistence everything will eventually fall into place and if it doesn't it wasn't supposed to in the first place. 

3. Running in this neighborhood makes me feel slightly more badass but also kind of like a dweeb- its a battle, really. 

4. The amount of time spent people watching, drinking coffee and wandering aimlessly around has significantly increased in the past four days. I think this is important exploring time for anyone thats new to a city- it was not intentional to have time to do that but it has been a positive. 

5. Today at the grocery store (the grocery store is probably one of my favorite places to go) an employee, that I was almost always in the way of, gave me a free bouquet of flowers as I was leaving. This is important to note because he didn't ask for anything in return, it was just a simple gesture of kindness and I really loved that. 

6.  Job hunting is nonsense; being honest with yourself is necessary; trusting the process is the way to live. 

Cheers! 

Sierra